Opinion Sur
Aspiring to find the flowing of affection in a long-lasting couple or friendship is legitimate. But this is not simple for several and diverse reasons. One of them is the difficulty to get to fully know and, especially, understand the other person. In the beginning, each one presents his/her own favorable flanks and conceals or ignores his/her shadows, fears, true wishes regarding the other person which can often not coincide; over time personal or contextual conditions to converge may be lacking. Knowing the other in depth emerges when the circumstances start to unveil real, honest differences.
It so happens that some people have an already crystallized conception of friendship, of affection, of life. They have lost, or never had, the necessary ductility and flexibility to move forward accepting each one’s singularity which is the base to release feelings, emotions and needs. Rigidly sustaining a conception of what a relationship and the other person ‘should be’ instead of what it is or could be, acts as an extremely narrow emotional mold in which the complexities the other person carries -just like any human being- must fit. This is an unreal hope since each one always has a unique, own personality deployed in multiple and diverse dimensions. To pretend that richness of life can be molded into our own wishes, fears, sorrows, disappointments, necessities ends up being a burdensome reductionism. On one hand it sterilizes the diversity that enriches; on the other, it anesthetizes creativity and limits the search of new ways to encounter; it acts as a filter of rejection or dismissal of those who do not accept submitting to the other person’s design.
We try to find other travelers with similar courses which constitute a valid search; only that the course is directionality and not the multiple steps that are part of the march. A march of free and independent beings scares those who only believe in imposing rules to avoid detours. Affection opens paths and those paths can be shared in many but not necessarily all aspects and complexities; this can baffle some people. Tightly bonding the walk tends to stop the march and forget the course.
Of course each one has the existential right to head for his/her course as he/she considers convenient and there is no superior perspective when it comes to the singular destination of a person. What deserves some reflection is the degree of satisfaction achieved with the adopted way of going through life’s course and the meaning of his/her existence derived from it.
