Opinion Sur
The thing is that mine is the truth; the whole of it, always; I strive to impose it and, if that is not possible, I rule out other truths and refuse to cooperate. I get frustrated and feel resentful to those who do not accept my truth. This type of behaviour causes serious harm, and its effects are magnified when several persons who are equally convinced of owning the truth collide. The clashing of absolute truths makes it harder to tell enemies from adversaries, which leads us to incurring mistakes and injustices and wasting opportunities to build together.The thing is that mine is the truth; the whole of it, always; I strive to impose it and, if that is not possible, I rule out other truths and refuse to cooperate. I get frustrated and feel resentful to those who do not accept my truth.
This type of behaviour causes serious harm, and its effects are magnified when several persons who are equally convinced of owning the truth –all of it, always– collide. Dialog is blocked, arguments get radicalized, there is no interest in any form of cooperation or mutual support. Antagonisms emerge, charged with overt or cover aggressions that deviate social energy towards confrontation, hence sterilizing talent and determination.
In this confrontation of egos and interests it is easier to recognize other’s destructive behaviours than ours. In truth, we have an inexhaustible capacity to deny that we act according to views skewed by our own interests, and that we could get to justify anything whatsoever in order to claim we are right.
In a context of strong antagonisms it is complex to convoke and be convoked, to make full use of the potential of a group, a country, or the global village. The point is that, rather than seeking to align disparate interests and needs, we take pains to impose ours. How much suffering we create by doing so, how much energy we dilapidate, how many lights are switched off or cannot be turned on!
In part, these attitudes are a legacy of histories of ancestral confrontations that burden each generation with old hatreds, misgivings and prejudices. But we also play our own part in those disagreements with new-minted antagonisms that, on many occasions, stem from the incapacity to distinguish enemies from adversaries.
In what is an enemy different from an adversary? An enemy is someone who seeks my destruction or submission. An adversary is someone who, in fighting for his own interests (of material, emotional, religious, ideological nature), does so without trying to destroy or submit me, not at the expense of my own accomplishment. Even though there are cases where this distinction becomes blurry, there are many others where it is clear who the adversaries and who the enemies are.
We are not faced with a mere academic disquisition. If we knew how to tell ones from the others, we would be aware of how many alleged enemies are in fact only adversaries, and hence, of the mistakes and injustices we are incurring and the wasted opportunities to build together.
This difference between adversarial relationships and enmity may be seen in all spheres of social, political and economic life. Some people from government or the opposition tend to think in politics that ideas and projects can only prosper by destroying the adversary-turned-enemy. Thus social potential becomes barren as many efforts will be cut short or will never exist, and energies will be shifted from construction to clashing as nobody will surrender without offering resistance.
One thing is the vision of a single and static cake I want for myself and my group, and another, the endeavour to jointly broaden the common space and share in the results. In the first case, there is only room for elbowing and growing by crushing other people’s heads, while in the second one, for cooperation, justice and organic growth.
Creating enemies where there are adversaries has to do with the values and conceptions guiding us. Those who appreciate other people’s effort, the legitimacy and contribution of diversity, the risks that the homogenization of viewpoints entail, will have fewer reasons to categorize an adversary as his enemy. If they did so by mistake, at some point they will be able to admit and repair it.
Instead, those who have been raised in fundamentalisms of any sort see enemies everywhere, enemies that must be eliminated, neutralized or submitted. They are unaware of any spiritual generosity, uncertain truth, broadmindedness and range of feelings. They have been raised in the jungle of confrontation and imposition, impermeable to opinions and perspectives that lessen their own vision. They practice authoritarianism and run short in mercy and good will.
Since values, interests and attitudes constitute the foundation of our behaviour, it is possible to rely on experience and good training to identify as enemies those who really are so, and view as legitimate, respectable adversaries so many others we deemed and treated as enemies when they never were or are no longer so.
Looking within
Our first reaction is always to think what the other one should do to cease to be my enemy and become a legitimate, respectable adversary. Falling into that trap is of no use. We should first look inside: what do I have to change to reach out to the other one with an attitude that invites him, induces him, facilitates his own reflection and change of heart about me, our group, our community, our country.
“The other one” or “the others” should also embark on that journey; however it is of no use to condition our own change to them because, in addition to getting us stuck in the swamp we want to escape from, we would be subordinating ourselves to the initiative and timing of others. The point lies in acting with honesty and pragmatism, with all due precautions. If after a genuine effort, the dynamics of the relationship cannot be transformed, we will anyway know how to protect our spaces.
Our ego has too many twists and turns; so much pain and sensitive tissue were left by old wounds, fears, resentments, offences, insecurities we accumulated in life, that it is difficult to believe that our understanding is free of those conditioning factors and our subjectivity is not deceitful. Even though it is impossible to get rid of our own subjectivity, understanding how it was structured would help us to double the efforts to fully listen to the other one and strive to get the gist of his words, feelings, interests.
Desires and courses
There are historic moments requiring true turning points in the political direction of a society, dramatic course changes that are necessary in very special situations, particularly when, for long periods, we have not been capable of adjusting the course during the journey. But it is negative to keep moving spasmodically, with course interruptions and gross disruptions. It is better to be on the alert and have the determination to make adjustments in time to resolve serious problems than to postpone or ignore those solutions, as this only leads to repressing forces that later on pour out uncontrollably causing costly damages and a permanent discontinuity of efforts.
Political cannibalism, overweight of egos and personal interests threaten the interests of society as a whole and prevent from addressing needs and aspirations. Even if passions and meanness come down forcefully, it is necessary to stand tall over that flood and look at the other one recognizing his fears, guaranteeing him our respect, and embarking together on the common venture of building peace and wellbeing. It will be the firmness of the just, the generosity and compassion stemming from good will, creativity and talent of each one of us, the responsibility, ability and vision of our leadership, what will make it possible to build paths of sustainable development, heal wounds, bring brothers together, jointly fight against inequity and poverty. In this flow of events –which is a challenge rather than a utopia– we will also have the chance to reflect on the enigmas of life and the disorientation we cyclically fall into. No one could claim that the agenda of humanity is narrow; it was not and will not be so as long as desires seeking new and better courses continue to germinate. May 2009 find us determined to continue that search.
